Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Pilgrimage to Chidambram

Go read pal Jordan Mallah's article in The Huffington Post to see what he has to say about his pilgrimage to Chidambram with the gang. 


Go now.  

Monday, January 3, 2011

Greater For Each Other

This article on Sustainable Marriage from Friday's NY Times is an interesting read.

A recent study shows that people are now more interested in partnership, and the quality of that partnership, than in the mere longevity of a marriage.

The most happily married are those whose partners make life more interesting, and facilitate the process of self-expansion.  The happier and more fulfilled the individuals are, the more satisfied and committed to the marriage they are.

"Duh," says my inner tantrika.

My understanding is that we can never hope to serve something greater than ourselves without being true to ourselves.  Why wouldn't this apply to love relationships?  It makes sense, right, that in choosing a partner who nurtures and facilitates our own growth, we increase our ability to be fulfilled in relationship, and so, too, to help our partner grow?  That would be a pretty good reason to stick around, wouldn't it?

It's an inspiring way to approach partnerships of intimacy--as a gateway into interesting and fulfilling experience, fun, satisfaction and growth. I think it's very much something to aspire to--to love and be loved, to nurture and be nurtured, to grow and nurture growth.

The study goes on to demonstrate that partners eventually adopt the traits of the other.  This, also, comes as no surprise.  My teacher taught me, years ago, that "we become the company we keep."  So, for me, there's an urgency, of sorts, to keep great company.

For example, depending on my partner, my relationship may accentuate my tendencies toward generosity or stinginess, toward creativity or resignation, toward communication or suppression.  Who will I become over the years?  A good look at the person waking up on the other side of the bed offers insight. It's a powerful incentive to choose well.

Although love is like nothing else, it's also exactly like anything else--love proffers the invitation to recognize our gifts, generously give them, bask in the gifts and growth of another, and become greater for them.

Does your relationship sustain you and make you feel good about yourself?